you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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