NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
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Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
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Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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