Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize