Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize