My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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