I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize