Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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