literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize