The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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