break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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