I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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