I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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