remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize