fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
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I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize