Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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