I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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