is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
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He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The power of my boobs compel you
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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