i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize