Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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