My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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