I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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