I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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