Whod you bang
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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