I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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