Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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