i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
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hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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