You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize