So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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