I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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