On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My sheets look like a crime scene.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
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I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
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I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This is my gift to your gina
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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