I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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