we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
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in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
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You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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