if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
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The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
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THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize