Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize