i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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