In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
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you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
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Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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