He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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