I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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