Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.

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  (248): The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out. http://tfl.nu/flyw
  Replies (2) Good night (498) Bad night (1143) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i think i'm in class. and blacked out.

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  (404): i think i'm in class. and blacked out. http://tfl.nu/l2ml
  Replies (5) Good night (2012) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.

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  (806): Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY. http://tfl.nu/w16e
  Replies (24) Good night (2609) Bad night (688)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm

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  (615): i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm http://tfl.nu/dyx8
  Replies (28) Good night (4911) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.

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  (207): She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird. http://tfl.nu/49lo
  Replies (20) Good night (7603) Bad night (1963) Order T-Shirt
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.

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  (731): who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you. http://tfl.nu/e0pj
  Replies (39) Good night (5089) Bad night (2110) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity

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  (610): Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity http://tfl.nu/heka
  Replies (12) Good night (1139) Bad night (3650) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.

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  (908): So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all. http://tfl.nu/ms6m
  Replies (3) Good night (4367) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face

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  (609): Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face http://tfl.nu/s45z
  Replies (2) Good night (3279) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  soo how bad was i last night?

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.

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  (402): soo how bad was i last night? (1-402): licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad. http://tfl.nu/4qt2
  Replies (4) Good night (1068) Bad night (1969) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.

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  (724): His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off. http://tfl.nu/q67j
  Replies (8) Good night (3792) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.

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  (918): She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup. http://tfl.nu/rkhg
  Replies (8) Good night (696) Bad night (1400) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits

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  (217): I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits http://tfl.nu/cv3j
  Replies (18) Good night (1454) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage

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  (716): You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage http://tfl.nu/tfgj
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.

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  (973): You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him. http://tfl.nu/xmf9
  Replies (4) Good night (485) Bad night (203)

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