five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If I had your ass I would rule the world
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize