Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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