Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize