Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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