dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
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Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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