Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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