Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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