No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
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My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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