i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
either way he was missing a nipple.
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Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
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Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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