as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize