Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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